In New Zealand our drinking age is 18 but the drink driving tolerance for under 20s is zero and my friend who’s a cop said he gets great pleasure out of breathalising sober under 20 year olds and watching the terror fill their face as he tells them they’re 10 times over the legit drinking limit cause ten times zero is still zero

(via the-doctors-consulting-detective)

1 day ago // 101,636 notes



Musicals are magical. When I’m watching musicals nothing matters. I don’t care about my failures. I don’t worry about my grades or my future. I’m not lonely, I’m not sad. I’m just completely content. They’re perfect. 

Unless you’re the stage manager

(via supremegingerkhaleesi)

6 days ago // 9,151 notes




I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

I’m going to get a bigger glass and add more mixer and have way too much to drink: The Thrilling Conclusion

(via pansyprkinson)

6 days ago // 254,624 notes



I’m going to read a Spongebob fic


I am not the same person I used to be

(Source: youllbeokaywepromise, via soundsofsunset)

1 week ago // 114,238 notes